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Good Narrative Principles

September 14, 2023
by Lee Eiferman
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Character Flash: Cracking the Code

During the school year, Dr. Frank lives on a wind farm moored twelve miles off the shore of Nantucket. His partner, Jeremy insists that Dr. Frank could earn more while living closer to home had he just made some adjustments in his life plan. Problem is Dr. Frank is unwilling to walk away from the off-shore wind farm project. It’s too important. The earth is too hot for him to justify abandoning his post simply because it’s inconvenient. And uncomfortable. In truth, the harsh winter winds are nothing to sneeze at. Jeremy has threatened to take the kids, the pets and new sofa and hightail it to Virginia where his people live. Dr. Frank begs him to hang in there. “It’s just another year or so” he shouts above the howling winds. “A year goes back like THAT”.  Punctuates his remark with two snaps, not unlike Mr. Rogers. Jeremy can neither hear the snaps nor Dr. Frank’s final remarks. The wind is too strong. Feeling like their lives will never lock together, Jeremy peruses the first of many real estate sites.

July 24, 2023
by Lee Eiferman
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Character Flash: The Cool Girls Club

It came together last year around this time. Hot summer day. You know how it is. You’re hanging out. People let down their guard and you can’t help yourself. You notice things. Like the safe squatting prominently in the life guards’ station. You fixate on it. First up, is figuring out the code, the combination, the what have you. If anyone would know it, it would be Maud, my Boss. I make nice. A tricky thing cuz you don’t want to come off as too “suck-uppy”. I notice she likes coffee. Super sweet, but that’s none of my business. One morning, we’re now in early August, I come in with an extra “oops” cup, as in “Oops, Betsy called in sick. And now, I’ve got an extra coffee…want it?” Like that. We hang. I pump her in the sweetest way imaginable. I want to know her birthday. The address of her childhood home. Etc. Etc. I work it. Now, if say I’m in the mood to go out drinking or buy that pretty scarf in the earring shop which compliments my eyes, I wait until after hours. Then, I swivel the dial this way and that, pop open the safe, and give myself a modest pay raise, somewhere in the neighborhood of an extra ten or twenty. I’m not about to empty the kitty. Why kill the gift which keeps on giving throughout the year?

July 24, 2023
by Lee Eiferman
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Character Flash: So Busy

Back when we were hanging out in the dorms, he was always the one tasked with locating the party, the free liquor, the interesting people who would not waste this night, this unique confluence of hope and heady thoughts. As we drifted into adulthood, he set a high bar for pursuing “FUN till we drop” as his life’s goal. Last week, when we reunited for our silver jubilee, I found him standing on the edge of the lake speaking in hushed tones about metrics to measure the success of his latest venture, the implication being he’d have to struggle to achieve these lofty goals. How did it happen that my personal icon of…what…freedom…live for today (sha-la-la) is now a man on a mission? One thing is for certain, we wouldn’t be seeing much of him this summer.

July 24, 2023
by Lee Eiferman
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Character Flash: She Sees Me

She recognized immediately when I had slipped from straightforward logic to crazy town and pointed it out, thinking, probably, that all she had to do was mention it, address it and I’d come around. But, I didn’t. I kept at it. I kept chewing on it. Digging into what he was thinking. Must have been thinking. Or else, he would have texted. Called. Tapped me. Something. Turns out he was on a job in another city. He sat in a dark, cold ballroom for a week, trying to do his best work. He wasn’t thinking about me. He wasn’t thinking about much of anything. It wasn’t personal. It just was. When my friend recognized that I was spinning towards a dark place, she eased me towards the exit…towards the sun. Breathe, she said. Just breathe.

July 24, 2023
by Lee Eiferman
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Character Flash: Let’s Talk About the Pivot

I’m thinking about the moment where there was a clear before and after. Not in the sense of the dramatic accident or big fire, but rather, the smaller moment which casts its long shadow. The time the mean girls laughed at you cuz of your home-made haircut. The dance teacher who poked your belly swollen by the beans you ate last night. Your teammates who gave you the silent treatment on the long ride home from the game cuz of your sloppy pitch. Sure, you move on, but a piece of you dies. Maybe you weren’t meant to be a baseball player, a ballerina or a world-class scientist. Maybe, other small moments of praise and contained applause will have to be enough.

July 24, 2023
by Lee Eiferman
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Character Flash: It’s an Either/Or World

One of the scientists in my group came to me with a request to buy a piece of machinery the nature of which I’m not at liberty to divulge. Protocol dictates I run his proposal up the chain of command. No one but the two of us are familiar with this expensive new toy and therefore no one but the two of us understand its true capabilities. If I seek the approval of my superiors, I will delay the project by months. Our company pays top dollar and attracts the best talent from around the globe. Impatient by nature, my scientists are accustomed to action, to conducting high level science without hindrance or obstruction. I think the proposal is sound. I also rarely stick my neck out quite this far.

July 13, 2023
by Lee Eiferman
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Character Flash: Addicted to Yes

It’s quite simple, really. Self-doubt leads to failure. Failure is unacceptable. It doesn’t matter if the ground is shaking under your feet or you find yourself in a bland landscape stretching into eternity, your only hope is to build a sturdy bridge between where you are now, and your bright future. To get there you need a plan. Specifically, a plan for each part of your day. How do you quiet the nagging inner voice which sounds different over coffee than it might at 4 a.m.? Do you have a system in place to forward your agenda? I’m a big believer in the BOLT system. B is for bulls. Their willfulness must be met with conviction. O is for Owls, who buy reluctantly. L is for lambs. T is for tigers. Need I say more?

May 30, 2023
by Lee Eiferman
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Character Flash: She Has it Going

Count yourself lucky if she’s on duty when you arrive at the ER. You’re having the worst day of your life and she’s calm as a cloud, scanning your body to figure out what’s going on. Sure, sometimes she slips up. She’s no superwoman. But, generally she’s spot on. Knows which tests need to be ordered. Has a theory or two about which part of your body has gone awry. Shares it with the doctor on call. I could imagine she’s a boon to Residents who are still putting together the numerous ways our bodies can malfunction.

A few weeks after my “event” I came back to bring her flowers. While waiting to hand them to her, I overheard two nurses talking about the time they went to Karaoke with her.  Damn, if she couldn’t belt out a mean version of Proud Mary. She had the moves down.

May 24, 2019
by Lee Eiferman
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The Scent of Foul Play

Peach vape smell, mingled with wet cash and rancid perfume. Can’t wash the smell off, I tried. We found the sodden large leather tote in the park this morning while walking the dog. Her driver’s license states that today is her birthday. Wet keys. No phone. Stray credit cards next to a swollen notebook filled with neat handwriting. Brought the bag to the cops. Could be foul. I’ll never know.