LeeWords

Good Narrative Principles

July 24, 2023
by Lee Eiferman
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Character Flash: Dwelling

I’m lying still. So still. The nurse tucks in the sheets, not because I’ve been tossing, but rather, I imagine, to give himself something to do. It takes all my effort to ride the train of shifting memories. Friends, family, loved ones pop in. When I reach for their hand, they’re gone, doubtless driven away by my inability to hold up my end of the conversation, let alone form sentences or even words. I’m here, chewing over the social slights as well as the beauty of the perfect peach. The task for today is to practice equanimity. Not favoring the good over the bad but rather to see it all as part of the dance of life. As if to say, you’ve signed up for it, tell me, what have you figured out?

July 24, 2023
by Lee Eiferman
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Character Flash: Overcooked/Overwhelmed

I was sitting on a park bench in the middle of the day, at a time when I am never in the park. I’m thinking about…honestly? I should have been thinking about where I might find work now that I’ve been…what’s the word? Fired. Instead, I’m clocking a woman in shorts walking past. I notice she has tattooed the back of both thighs. If my phone hadn’t rung just then, I probably would have lost track of this image I had of her lying on her stomach realizing that she’d only be able to view her new tattoos backwards in the mirror. Was she okay with that? But my phone did ring. It was my wife. I admit I was in a bit of a panic. How do I tell her that I’ve been “let go”? How do I frame my firing so that she doesn’t lose faith in me? On the third ring, I answer. Before I can say anything, my wife shouts “It’s coming! The baby is coming!” I must have put her on speaker cuz the lady with the backwards tattoos smiles as if welcoming me into the wide world of humanity.

July 24, 2023
by Lee Eiferman
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Character Flash: Never Repeat Never Surrender

When our daughter was born, I became lost in a sea of love. Tracing her dimples, the fine arc of her eyebrows, the slight asymmetry between her two eyes, marked her as uniquely herself. While holding her for the first time, I decided that to honor her, I will contribute my own unique trick to the proud pantheon of magic. As magic shows were losing their hold on the culture, I had many, many hours and free days to devote to this singular pursuit. I tried my hand at levitation, pulling rabbits out of hats and finally settled on cards as it was budget friendly.  My plan is to perform my card trick which I’m calling “Uniquely You” for the first time at the party celebrating her college graduation.  Sure, it took longer than I thought it would. But…hey, someday, if I play my cards right, “Uniquely You” will be right up there with “Amazing Aces.”

July 24, 2023
by Lee Eiferman
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Character Flash: She Sees Me

She recognized immediately when I had slipped from straightforward logic to crazy town and pointed it out, thinking, probably, that all she had to do was mention it, address it and I’d come around. But, I didn’t. I kept at it. I kept chewing on it. Digging into what he was thinking. Must have been thinking. Or else, he would have texted. Called. Tapped me. Something. Turns out he was on a job in another city. He sat in a dark, cold ballroom for a week, trying to do his best work. He wasn’t thinking about me. He wasn’t thinking about much of anything. It wasn’t personal. It just was. When my friend recognized that I was spinning towards a dark place, she eased me towards the exit…towards the sun. Breathe, she said. Just breathe.

July 24, 2023
by Lee Eiferman
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Character Flash: We All Vibrate Together

It’s no skin off my nose to say something nice to my neighbors, my kids and my co-worker (who should really learn to deploy his “inside voice”). I try to keep it real. Sincere. I’m not always that effective. I admit I have what one might call a temper, particularly after grueling client calls and right before dinner. You’d be wise to steer clear of me then. My therapist suggested I try picturing all of us vibrating together like atoms on a tilt-a-whirl to mitigate the sting of personalities colliding in space. I’ve been at it for over a year now. So, how am I doing?

(Photo: Tim Duch)

July 24, 2023
by Lee Eiferman
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Character Flash: Can’t Stop Looking Backwards

It was such a nice party. Great group of people. Good spread. Conversation was easy. Didn’t feel like work. And the sun was shining, so much so, that guests gathered in tight circles in the shade.

Somewhere in the middle, after I slammed my face into the cheese tray, I turned to the person next to me.  She had just shared her first impressions of the school system when I told her, apropos of nothing, about Albert and that fateful day at the beach.

Really!? Now, why did I feel compelled to go there?

July 13, 2023
by Lee Eiferman
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Character Flash: I’m Okay with Just Watching

Every three weeks I work as a guard. I don’t mind. It’s a small museum. Just the three of us. Sometimes, I’m the Director. Sometimes I work HR, PR and order lunch. Can’t say being a guard is my favorite. But it does have its pluses. Like, last week I noticed, wedged in the thick white paint in the upper quadrant of our Jackson Pollack, a match head. Pretty cool. Huh?
When I’m on guard duty, I play this game probably out of boredom. I watch our visitors watching the paintings, sculptures and video loops and wonder what kind of music do they listen to, what do they eat for breakfast and what is the one thing they absolutely won’t tolerate in their lives. Naturally, I have no way of verifying my imaginative impressions. But that doesn’t stop me from continuing what is probably an insidious habit. Last week, it got me into trouble. My daughter introduced me to her new boyfriend, a kid I’ve seen hanging around the sculpture garden. I had the impression that he was waiting for me to look the other way so that he could light up. Now, what am I supposed to do with this bad feeling lingering in my gut every time I see him with her?

June 21, 2017
by Lee Eiferman
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Jello

When asked if he actually liked his job, Jake mentions that he always suffered from a bad case of Sunday night anxiety. Heading to the office Monday morning never felt good, but, with his wife due any day, Jake was in no position to consider a change or even a lateral shift in his work life. Yesterday, on the street outside the office, Jake collided with two sweaty guys hauling away the state of the art copier and the new editing equipment from the office. Upstairs, everything in his cubicle, including his flowering orchids, his books on fonts and basics of print design were gone. Later, at home, in a heightened state of confusion, Jake tackled the room that was designated to become the nursery. His glove ripped midway through spackling the wall. Jake felt a warm rush of air along the fleshy base of his thumb. Feeling simultaneously frightened and set free, he cupped the air as his new complex reality began to take hold, like Jello starting to congeal.  (Photo: Tim Duch)

February 28, 2017
by Lee Eiferman
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The New New

Jake made sure everyone knew what was at stake. He’d been doing it for weeks on the advice of the midwife who couldn’t guarantee his wife Betts would carry their baby to term. Every day, as he was boarding the skiff that took him to the jobsite at the base of the New New York Bridge (New New for short) he’d remind his team captain that when he got the call, he’d need a ride back double time. It was the weather that screwed him over. While Betts pushed, Jake, stuck on the skiff tethered to the base of the bridge, played endless rounds of gin rummy. The river roiled and heaved and only grew still the following morning, at which point, Jake was hardly in a position to take issue with the ridiculous name Betts had chosen for their son ‑ Albert. On the list of boy’s names, it didn’t even crack the top one hundred.

June 19, 2015
by Lee Eiferman
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23 & Me

IMG_6445I love my parents. Those guys are so awesome. For my Sweet Sixteen they bought me a “thing” — dunno what to call it, a screening (?) a service (?) for 23andMe. I learned about it in Bio this year. My teacher, Ms. Jimenez, told us that now you can take a bit of saliva and use it to decode your genetic makeup and that just “blew her mind”.

You know, how some things can become catch phrases? Well, “blow your mind” had a good run for a few weeks. Like, “ooh, this soggy burger blew my mind” or “the soda machine ate my dollar, which just about blew my mind.” (Maybe I’m confusing “blow my mind” with “bummed me out”?) But at night, at home, I started digging around on the Internet and though I didn’t say anything about it to my crew, like how genuinely awesome it would be to have a report on my genetic self, I was intrigued.

(Note to self: “intrigued” is a good word to use in my college essay).

I bugged my parents and eventually they caved. It’s not cheap, this service, this “thing”. But then again, neither is a reading with a good astrologer. My parents don’t think it’s a fair comparison. But, consider this: both astrology and genetics tap into your curiosity about the future. And both offer you a script, which may or may not come true. Just like genetics isn’t destiny, neither is the arrangement of stars in our galaxy. Sure they both tug at you and influence/limit who you might become, but I like to think that there’s a higher self running the show.

What I really want to know is who am I? My Mom grew up in a crazy cultured house where it was the norm to learn Swahili when her Dad (my Grandpa, the love bug) was stationed in Kenya. Will that flair for language show up in my 23andMe report? Or would it be better suited to my astrological forecast? Maybe I didn’t inherit that “whatever” (gift), (flair), (wiring). My Dad makes awesome pancakes for us every Saturday or Sunday (depending on whether or not one of us has a soccer game or swim meet). Again, that’s probably not a trait that’ll appear in either the genetic report or star chart but maybe is the key to my character.

School’s out (finally!). The last few nights, me and my crew have been lighting bonfires at the beach. There’s a wildness that comes over me when we’re sitting around the fire with the ‘smores and peach schnapps. I look at the stars. I’m not thinking about astrology or genetics, instead, I’m just feeling that strong pull, that tug towards freedom. I go skinny-dipping. I kiss the boys, the girls. I’m not drunk (honest). I’m not high (okay, maybe a little).

I wish that moment could last forever. I keep thinking that if I stare at one star long enough (I can always find it using my Star Chart app) maybe I can project this wildness into energy that I can then tap into it when needed, like in the winter when the world goes glum.

And say I’m successful at pushing this essence of me towards a star (let’s just say). Is that essence the real me? More real than my genetic makeup or that I was born under the influence of Uranus (that’s a joke).