What happened? I’ll tell you what happened. I carry in the tray of cookies. We make nice. Make conversation. Talk about knowing the deceased (may he rest in peace) while working side by side in the Diamond District. This was back in the 80’s, before the street had their security act together.

The mourners perk up.  I become a regular story teller. A real Mother Goose.

I ask the Host on behalf of my partner if he could borrow the bedroom for a minute to change into his Santa suit. Don’t want to tie up the bathroom, I add as if I’m the thoughtful type. I show ‘em a corner of the Santa costume. Silk wool blend. Only the best.

The Host is charmed. Jimmy heads off to the bedroom to do his business as I keep up the steady patter. “Oh, and then there was the time…” I’m running out of stories. Jimmy still isn’t out. The cookies are gone. Finished. Consumed. I excuse myself to see what he’s up to.

I find Jimmy staring inside the open safe. It’s empty.

And Jimmy? He’s hopping mad.