My sins are between me and my Maker. Only he knows what I’ve done right and what I’ve done wrong. I make it my business to keep it that way and never judge others. I can only think that he put that cake in my path for a reason. To test me. Test my resolve to steer clear of the demon gluttony. But I fell short. I suppose I could blame it on the unpaid bills that have accumulated at a frightening pace around the TV — a nice new flat screen that I am quite fond of. Or I could blame my poor judgment on the fact that I skipped lunch today in anticipation of tonight’s celebration. I could say I entered a sort of fugue state when I just licked the cream frosting but that wouldn’t be the truth. I just couldn’t help myself. Lorraine will just have to be satisfied with what I serve. I figure I’ll arrange the last few slices of the cake on the plate nicely. Park a few of those super large Pepperidge Farm cookies in between each cake slice. Cover the whole mess with whipped cream and sprinkles and call it a day. And if anyone has the nerve to say anything untoward about it, well, they had best think twice cuz my memory of each person’s failings and where they slipped up goes back as far as forever. I’m not averse to employing this knowledge in my defense.