It took seventeen cases of Natural Light, a close reading of Guns & Ammo and the online edition of Reader’s Digest for nearly a year to win her over. Chuck, tired of being a third wheel, is now a husband.  Marital bliss lasted a grand total of three weeks at which point the Mrs. launched into a non-stop, less than kind critique of her new husband. At a loss at how to win her back, Chuck heads to Petco. He stares endlessly at the Koi, Butterfly Fish and Blue Tangs until he goes numb, then drifts over to the parakeets and comes home with two. Hoping that their calm and loving nature would inspire a similar attitude in the Mrs., he installs the birdcage near their bed.