Mike
Yeah, well I don’t want to give the speech.
robin
But you have to.
mike
Have to?
robin
You agreed to it.
mike
When?
robin
Mike, this really isn’t the time to be having this discussion.
mike
I never agreed to it.
robin
You’re right here in the rundown.
mike
Why am I hearing about this now?
robin
I have no idea.
mike
I’ve got a whole army of assistants whose job it is to tell me precisely…
robin
Lower your voice, the audience can hear you.
mike
You’re going to have to get me out of this.
robin
Me! How?
mike
I have no idea. You were hired to run this meeting.
Robin leans forward and breathes deeply.
mike (cont.)
How about this… I won’t put the next meeting out to bid. Just get me out of this.
robin
But you’re up next.
Jimmy, wearing a headset approaches.
jimmy
Is there a problem here?
robin
He won’t get miked up. He doesn’t want to go on stage.
Jimmy gently rests his hand on Mike’s shoulder.
jimmy
What’s the deal Mr. M, bad case of nerves?
mike
Who the hell is this guy?
(to Jimmy)
Take. your. hands. off. me. now.
jimmy
Oooh…back down, Buddy. You’re gonna breathe through your feet. Come on. Deep breath. Through the toes…
mike
Robin, if you don’t get that guy away from me…
With a glance from Robin, Jimmy backs off. All the while Jimmy is muttering urgently into his headset.
Meanwhile, Robin holds up her index finger to Jimmy — give us a second.
robin
I can’t believe that you’d let a woman get between you and your sales team.
mike
Excuse me, what did you just say?
robin
You heard me.
mike
I heard something about a woman then you lost me.
robin
She got to you didn’t she?
mike
Who?
robin
I’ve been watching you these past weeks dressing her down in front of the rest of us. Don’t you get it? She’ll never leave her husband.
mike
Where are you getting this from? From her? Did she tell you this? Jeez, Little Miss Motor Mouth.
robin
She’s as discrete as a nun. Listen Mike, I’m speaking out of turn here, but you’re the leader of this group. They need to hear it from you.
mike
Yeah, but on the other hand if her product bombs then she’s out of here.
robin
So, you’re going to show her, right? In front of your sales force you’re going to stand her up.
mike
Well, look who’s suddenly grown a set of balls!
robin
You know what I say…Fuck her.
mike
I was trying to.
robin
She really got under your skin.
mike
Surprise. Yeah, that’s right. I’m just another guy. A guy with feelings.
robin
Mike, remember that speech you gave last year about how we’re all part of this grand orchestra?
mike
Please do not throw those cheesy speeches back in my face.
robin
She’s just the piccolo. Are you really going to let the piccolo overshadow the first chair violin?
mike
Let’s get one thing straight here. I’m the conductor.
robin
There you go. That’s my guy. You’ve worked hard for this moment. Now, go out there and whip them into a frenzy.
Robin gestures. An Audio Guy approaches gingerly and starts to thread a wire up Mike’s shirt.
mike
You’re very good at this. You really are.
robin
Thanks. You do know that I’m married.
mike
(waves his wedding ring at her)
So am I.
robin
Sssh…she’s in the second to last spread.
mike
The penultimate spread. Most people think that penultimate means above the ultimate.
Robin
Mike, focus, now. So, what is it you’re going to say?
mike
Kiss me. For good luck.
robin
You don’t want that.
mike
Yeah, I do. Come on, a little peck. On the cheek. Just for good luck.
robin
That’s your cue. Go! Go!
mike
Hang on. Are you really married? Tell me. Honest now.
robin
Nope.
mike
Great! Neither am I.
robin
Why you big fuckin’…
mike
Tonight — you and me? What do you say?
robin
Go! And remember to mention the theme. It’s “Bring It Home.”