LeeWords

Good Narrative Principles

Bring It Home

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Mike

Yeah, well I don’t want to give the speech.

robin

But you have to.

mike

Have to?

robin

You agreed to it.

mike

When?

robin

Mike, this really isn’t the time to be having this discussion.

mike

I never agreed to it.

robin

You’re right here in the rundown.

mike

Why am I hearing about this now?

robin

I have no idea.

mike

I’ve got a whole army of assistants whose job it is to tell me precisely…

robin

Lower your voice, the audience can hear you.

mike

You’re going to have to get me out of this.

robin

Me! How?

mike

I have no idea. You were hired to run this meeting.

Robin leans forward and breathes deeply.

mike (cont.)

How about this… I won’t put the next meeting out to bid. Just get me out of this.

robin

But you’re up next.

Jimmy, wearing a headset approaches.

jimmy

Is there a problem here?

robin

He won’t get miked up. He doesn’t want to go on stage.

Jimmy gently rests his hand on Mike’s shoulder.

jimmy

What’s the deal Mr. M, bad case of nerves?

mike

Who the hell is this guy?

(to Jimmy)

Take. your. hands. off. me. now.

jimmy

Oooh…back down, Buddy. You’re gonna breathe through your feet. Come on. Deep breath. Through the toes…

mike

Robin, if you don’t get that guy away from me…

With a glance from Robin, Jimmy backs off. All the while Jimmy is muttering urgently into his headset.

Meanwhile, Robin holds up her index finger to Jimmy — give us a second.

robin

I can’t believe that you’d let a woman get between you and your sales team.

mike

Excuse me, what did you just say?

robin

You heard me.

mike

I heard something about a woman then you lost me.

robin

She got to you didn’t she?

mike

Who?

robin

I’ve been watching you these past weeks dressing her down in front of the rest of us. Don’t you get it?  She’ll never leave her husband.

mike

Where are you getting this from? From her? Did she tell you this? Jeez, Little Miss Motor Mouth.

robin

She’s as discrete as a nun. Listen Mike, I’m speaking out of turn here, but you’re the leader of this group. They need to hear it from you.

mike

Yeah, but on the other hand if her product bombs then she’s out of here.

robin

So, you’re going to show her, right? In front of your sales force you’re going to stand her up.

mike

Well, look who’s suddenly grown a set of balls!

robin

You know what I say…Fuck her.

mike

I was trying to.

robin

She really got under your skin.

mike

Surprise. Yeah, that’s right. I’m just another guy. A guy with feelings.

robin

Mike, remember that speech you gave last year about how we’re all part of this grand orchestra?

mike

Please do not throw those cheesy speeches back in my face.

robin

She’s just the piccolo. Are you really going to let the piccolo overshadow the first chair violin?

mike

Let’s get one thing straight here. I’m the conductor.

robin

There you go. That’s my guy. You’ve worked hard for this moment. Now, go out there and whip them into a frenzy.

Robin gestures. An Audio Guy approaches gingerly and starts to thread a wire up Mike’s shirt.

mike

You’re very good at this. You really are.

robin

Thanks. You do know that I’m married.

mike

(waves his wedding ring at her)

So am I.

robin

Sssh…she’s in the second to last spread.

mike

The penultimate spread. Most people think that penultimate means above the ultimate.

Robin

Mike, focus, now. So, what is it you’re going to say?

mike

Kiss me. For good luck.

robin

You don’t want that.

mike

Yeah, I do. Come on, a little peck. On the cheek. Just for good luck.

robin

That’s your cue. Go! Go!

mike

Hang on. Are you really married? Tell me. Honest now.

robin

Nope.

mike

Great! Neither am I.

robin

Why you big fuckin’…

mike

Tonight — you and me? What do you say?

robin

Go! And remember to mention the theme. It’s “Bring It Home.”

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