Living room

Stripped down documentary crew. Director DAVE has his camera trained on RACHEL.

rachel

…And then Mel kinda did this thing with his finger, you know his pointer finger, his uhm index finger? He goes like this…

(she points, then beckons)

…to me! It wasn’t like I was projecting some kind of vibe to like will him towards. It just happened. That moment, that…

(repeats the gesture)

…was the beginning of my life. Yeah, that’s all. That’s all I want to say on the subject.

Dave

And cut. That was great.

rachel

Good cuz I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

dave

Right. Mmmm…The thing is uhm…well…Rachel…You’re doing great, great.

rachel

So you said.

dave

Honest…

rachel

But…

dave

Look, this is hard for me too.

rachel

Yeah, but this is your job. While for me it happens to be my life.

dave

And I respect that. I do.

rachel

Good. Cuz right now it feels like I’m in the middle of root canal. And the drill is being powered by a hamster on a wheel.

dave

O.K. I hear you.

rachel

Be direct.

dave

Right.

rachel

So?

dave

One you looked away when you where talking about willing him towards you…

rachel

I wasn’t willing him towards me. That’s the whole point.

dave

Got it. But, when you said it, it felt like, I don’t know, maybe you had something to hide? And two, I’m being direct here, isn’t there something more you want to say, I mean on the subject of Mel and first meeting him?

rachel

You really are an insensitive pig.

dave

Probably. You see my job is to poke around. So while it is uncomforable for you, and I get that, I do, I kinda need more or else I’m going home empty handed.

rachel

O.K. just roll. I’ll give you what you need.

dave

You sure?

rachel

Just make it quick. No futzing with the lights.

dave

We’re ready whenever you are.

rachel

You asked me about Mel? About our marriage? Here’s the deal. I went to work for him. We fell in love. We got married. We had two babies together and then he killed himself. It’s a very short story.

dave

Too short. I meant that not as your director here. But just as a fellow human being. The fact that you’re able to even string words together, I mean given what you’ve been through is well…Profound. It’s profound.

rachel

Thanks. I’m assuming we’re about done, then?

dave

Not exactly. A few more questions. If that’s O.K. with you.

rachel

And if it’s not?

dave

Just say the word and I’m out of here.

rachel

Yeah, but then what would Jerry say?

dave

That’s my headache not yours.

rachel

I was lead to believe that he’d be directing this.

dave

He’s going to try to make it to a few shoots. But…

rachel

He’s busy.

dave

But he wants you to know that he cares.

rachel

Just not enough to be here.

dave

Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. Don’t go there. It’s so much more complicated than simply he skipped out on this shoot today in favor of something trivial, you know like uhm…cleaning his pool.

rachel

No one cleans their own pool.

dave

Tons of people do. I do.

rachel

But you don’t count.

dave

Excuse me?

rachel

Hmmm…How to say this diplomatically? You clean your own pool cuz you’re poor.

dave

Poor people don’t own pools. So clearly I’m not that poor.

rachel

It’s O.K. Honey. Don’t take it so personally. I’m guessing you’re about 26? 27?

dave

Close.

rachel

At your age poor means you’re struggling. You’re out there. And that’s like, I don’t know, sexy. It’s attractive. But by the time you’ve reached my age…

dave

Oh Rachel, please. You’ve got like what? Three years on me?

rachel

I’m not going to answer that. All I’m saying is that I understand that Jerry has got his priorities. Clearly, I’m not one of them.

dave

How could you not be? You’re one of his closest friends.

rachel

He didn’t call after the event.

dave

But he came to the funeral.

rachel

So did the rest of the town.

dave

I don’t want to do this.

rachel

Do what?

dave

Defend him. You’ll never say the things that you want to say to him, to him, so instead you say it to me. And that makes me his whipping boy.

rachel

Pass me the phone.

dave

Say you say to him what you just said to me? He’ll kill the project.

rachel

But, you’ll no longer be his whipping boy.

dave

Look, I’m happy to be here. I’m a huge fan of your late husband’s work. But I also happen to really admire the work that you’ve done for the Big Sisters Who Care foundation.

rachel

Don’t suck up to me. It’s unbecoming.

dave

Then I won’t say anything about how you’ve positively influenced the direction of countless women’s lives in Papua New Guinea.

rachel

What you’re doing right now? It isn’t necessary.

dave

But I mean it.

rachel

O.K. I get the fact that you did your homework.

dave

What if, say we change the direction of this documentary? What if we made it about you?

rachel

Stop flattering me.

dave

I would never want to upset you. That’s not my goal.

rachel

No, your goal is saving your hide.

dave

Sure. Absolutely. But never at your expense. You’ve been through enough.

rachel

Look, honey…

dave

It’s Dave.

rachel

Dave, you’re kinda cute. You got that surfer bum thing going. A bit like Mel when he was younger. But you’ve just crossed the line. I’m gonna ask you nicely to get the hell out. Pack up your equipment and clear out.

dave

Hang on. We’re got off to a bad start here. Let’s talk about it.

rachel

No. No more words. I am so talked out I can’t form words anymore.

dave

Fine. Then I’ll do the talking for both us. You got a rotten deal. I see that. I get it. And sure, like the Dali Lama says there’s great opportunity here for self-growth. But I say fuck it. Who needs all that pain? So, maybe that’s why I’m tripping over myself here. Cuz I believe, you and me? We’re sympatico. You married rich. So did I. Not that I’m married to Jerry, but I’m in his young director’s stable. In five year’s time I’ll be directing my first feature. And it won’t be charged to my credit cards either. Think about it this way. This time around Rachel, say with someone like me?… you won’t have to suck up to someone who you know will be cheating on you each and every time he leaves to shoot a project. There could be something really here between us. A spark — don’t you feel it? Well, don’t you?

rachel

A spark?

dave

Yeah, that’s what I mean.

rachel

Dave, I don’t have five years to just wait around.

dave

Then speed up the process. Get behind me.

rachel

You’re hustling me?!

DAVE

Well…sure, maybe a little. Just a little. But everyone hustles everyone. Doesn’t mean that everything else I just said to you isn’t true.

rachel

Shit, you almost had me there.

dave

Good.

rachel

For a minute there I felt like you were actually talking to me, Rachel.

dave

That’s cuz I was talking to you.

rachel

I flashed on this image of squeezing orange juice for you in the morning. How stupid is that?

dave

What was I wearing?

rachel

Hmm?

dave

You know in this image of domestic tranquility…

rachel

You ask strange questions.

dave

Humor me. Was I like in pajamas? Sweats? Anything?

rachel

No, uhm. God this is embarrassing. Uhm…I had us in matching robes. You know the really thick terry cloth kind.

dave

That we stole from Four Seasons?

rachel

We won’t have to steal it. I’ll buy it for you.

dave

Would that make you happy?

rachel

Who the fuck knows. For awhile there I thought Mel made me happy. I thought we made each other happy.  Remember before when I said he chose me? And how it felt like fate. The truth is there was no beckoning of the finger, no magic. Just lots of hard work. When I first got booked on the job, I made it my business to know everything there was to know about Mel. I boned up on Mel’s does and don’ts. What films he loved. How he liked his toast. What food combinations trumped the vegan diet he felt politically obliged to. You see, he was my job. And when he died I was fired. And that’s the truth of it.

dave

Thanks Rachel.

rachel

You weren’t rolling, where you?

dave

No.

rachel

Is that the truth?

dave

No.

rachel

It’s a weird game you’re playing.

dave

Dave, the name is Dave.

rachel

So all that stuff you said before? About you and me…

dave

I meant it.

rachel

In the moment. But now you’ve got another truth that you’re willing to stake everything on.

dave

O.K. Wanna know my truth? Here’s my truth. What if we could create a piece that captured the full complexity of the man Mel. Not only the man the public devoured. The E! channel Mel. You know, like the Mel that inhabited all those roles. The sympathetic Nazi spy. The tortured Space Commander who saves Planet Earth. The Warrior Prince…

rachel

Yeah, yeah.

dave

I’m talking about truth. The real truth. The blood, guts and passion Mel. The one who couldn’t sleep at night. Who was driven to the brink by his private demons. The Mel who you shared orange juice with in the morning. Who picked his kids up from school on Tuesday and drove them to the beach and taught them how to ride a wave. If we don’t capture everything then I’ve failed.

Rachel

Are you bullshitting me?

dave

No. Absolutely not. Do you really think we will do your husband’s memory justice by cranking out another self-serving promo piece? I mean Rachel if that’s our goal, then what do you say we ditch it. I’ll go straight to selling ginzu knives which as a gig pays a whole lot more and is way easier to shoot.

rachel

So, you’re saying you want the real truth about Mel?

dave

Straight down the line.

Rachel

What about the budget?

dave

Well, the studio hasn’t been as generous as we had hoped.

rachel

How much more do we need?

dave

Let me put it to you this way…The future of this project is in your hands. Which means, basically, that my future is in your hands.

rachel

You know, Dave…I’ve never been in this position before. Calling the shots.

dave

How does it feel?

rachel

Dunno.

dave

Do you like it?

rachel

Uhm…yeah. Yes, I do.

dave

Good. Enjoy being in the driver’s seat. I’m not rolling now by the way. Scout’s honor.

rachel

Suddenly, I’m like feeling more hopeful.

dave

Well, good. Now, about the budget…

 

 

© Lee Eiferman, 2005